Tim Glomb (from Viva La Bam)

To: gnardawg@aol.com
From: viva_la_Staci@hotmail.com
Subject: Hola!

Hello there Tim! I was watching Viva La Bam the other day and noticed a website on your shirt. Since I'm a total genius I went to the site and was happy to find out it was your personal website with your e-mail address on it. I hope you don't think I'm a stalker (you probably get this all the time and I'm sorry if it's annoying). Anyways my name is Staci and I have such a crush on you. I need more Tim Glomb! Maybe you could send me some revealing photographs of yourself. I'll send a picture of myself to get things started. I hope you reply or I'll die of cancer!

 

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When Glomb didn't respond to the e-mail I took it upon myself to get those fucking pictures, because thats the type of guy I am. Here goes...

buttsekz: I want to see you naked
GnarDawg: of course you do. you first
GnarDawg: god why do i think this is frantz
buttsekz: If I send you a nude picture will you send one back to me?
GnarDawg: absolutely...maybe
buttsekz: THAT IS NOT A VERY FIRM ANSWER MISTER!
GnarDawg: here's the kicker... are you 18?
buttsekz: Of course I am
buttsekz: If I dont see you naked I'll die of cancer and AIDS
GnarDawg: well, if you send me a pic with a note taped to you that says "hi tim:" i'll send one back. that's the trade
GnarDawg: got a digi cam? go for it.
GnarDawg: ok... I'm leaving unless you have the goods
buttsekz: I'll have the pictures for you later, take care :-)

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Tim Glomb is a class act. He made sure I was legal before he did anything because he's such a classy guy. Anna Benson could learn a lesson from him when it comes to dealing with fans and not being a total cunt. Glomb, if you and Rake run for president in '08 you can count on my vote.